Everything happens for a reason, right?

       This past week a big part of me was lost and since I can’t find anything that’ll replace those, I have been, well I’ll just say, wasting time?

      Last Sunday, We visited a family friend and were not really planning to go to SM. Then we accidentally attended or watched a mall show for my mom loves going to the mall. My mom, sisters and I have never seen nor heard about them but we were curious so we watched them. They’re called The 5ive. Yes, we were entertained not with their talent (sorry!) and those screaming die-hard fans but with their looks and nice personality. We liked them and yeah. The next day, they were still on our minds and I was happy for I have never liked a Filipino boy band before. We enjoyed searching them on the internet because they were new, lol, (but we’re not addicted to them and we’re not die-hard fans)it’s like we met rising stars and found something to be busy with.  But then, the sun set and I have received tremendously bothering news.  My twin and I found out that the university we wanted to study in is having their College Entrance Exam next month and the deadline for application was June, plus, they are the only university that has that course. So yeah, we missed it and we weren't informed about the early application and exam. I have been looking forward for it ever since and now I have to choose a different path or let’s just say a different university. So, instead of reviewing and studying hard, knowing that the course that I will take up in some other university won’t be having an entrance exam, I wasted so much time on the internet doing, (for me, before)irrelevant  stuff. 

     The next few days, still that same week, my twin and I saw brilliant opportunities on the internet, an audition/screening of what we have been wanting since 12, yes, 12 years old. We were soooooooooo excited and made little plans and to-do’s but then when we told our mom, she said NO. Another heartbreak L . I was soooooooo sad that I thought that God was punishing me or something; I thought I was the unluckiest teen in the world. What I had in mind was that all the things that I want and I dream for are always stolen or taken away from me. But since I’m a Virgo, Positive, Clean and Thoughtful, lol, I accepted all of it and felt happy.  

     The third heartbreak was just last night. I chatted with my online crush, my crush that I really liked because we share the same hobbies and we understand each other, in a way. So last night, I found out that he already has a girlfriend. Yes, a girlfriend. I wasn’t that hurt but I was shocked for not knowing it.  He is a man of few words but he writes well. Is that even right? Pffff. Then we talked about him and his girlfriend, such private matters. Every second of the time we’re chatting I was moving on and thinking he might be just a very good friend to me, that’s all. I was a little hurt because I expected a lot of things. I thought as the time flows, we’ll be talking about college stuff (since we’ll be taking college at the same time), and will still be in touch, until we graduate. But I realized he has his own life and his own lovelife.
     

      I just thought that maybe all of this happened because God has better plans for me.  I just think that everything really happens for a reason, I also stick to that quote for I don’t want to be depressed and stressed. I mean it’ll be up to you if you forever bury that heartbreak, there will be a lot of doors that will open for each one of us. “For every door that shuts, ten will open”. You might think I’m pathetic in some ways but that’s just me, all I can say is that I had enough in a week. Who knows, next week might be filled with big surprises.


    Also, I remembered one of Rowan Atkinson's Movies as Mr. Bean, where he was trusted to take care of a highly valuable painting called Whistler's Mother, If he had not accidentally ruined that painting, we will not realize that nothing is impossible, If he didn't picked up that stethoscope that fell, he wouldn't be mistaken as a real doctor and save 2 lives. Everything happens for a reason, indeed!

I need a dreamcatcher! :O

       I just woke up and I just want to write a blog about my bad dream or something. I don’t know what to call it though but I know for sure that it didn’t felt good the moment I woke up.

       Around 5 am I woke up to help my mom get ready my grade 2 sister for school. I waved at her as she rode her school bus and the bus drove off. I ate a piece of chicke

n from last night’s dinner and went back to sleep, but before I go back to sleep my mom asked me to do something first and I was a little mad for I was still very sleepy that time then after I did what she asked me to do, I scurried to my bed, put blankets on and slept.

      Well the dream started with me, my twin sister and my youngest sister, the 2^nd grader, we were in a car sitting on the back seat and there is this lady squatting behind the driver seat. I don’t know why my sisters and I are like acting scared of her but then I realized she was the lead girl in “Pee Mak” Mario Maurer’s upcoming film. (We watched 4 Sisters and a Wedding last Friday, July 5, and we sat there watching trailers for an hour, including the trailer of “Pee Mak”). Then the lady

was stroking my left feet or left leg and I wasn’t acting afraid so she will stop but then she hugged the 3 of us and she was shaking her body that moment I started to be scared because she only have 2 facial expressions: A smug and a straight face. Gosh. I can’t remember what happened next because Mother Nature fucks your mind by creating scenarios in your mind while asleep and erasing some parts of it in the first 4 minutes you wake up, Then the next scene, as I can remember, was the girl from “Pee Mak” I think her name there is Nak, was with me and I was lying in a bed? Or something that is quite comfortable and she was stroking my right arm with her straight face and her unusual outfit. Oh gosh. Then that time I was so freaked out, I struggled to wake myself up and realizing that I'm already awake and the reason I felt that way was because my grade 2 sister was wrapped around my left leg, like she always do that’s why I end up having bad dreams, but there was a split second I remembered that I accompanied my sister to her school bus and saw her left, right after that split second I saw a glimpse of scene in the car Nak still stroking my left leg and a 1-second scene flashed to my eyes there was another Nak still stroking my right arm. I was so scared for the second time and I struggled to wake up and cried; now the 2 Naks are gone. There was a knock on the door. There were 2 students buying a pen from me. What? I can’t remember a scene after that I was just already lying on the bed and I heard my mom whispering
“ Iya, anak gising na, gising na.” (“Iya, Wake up, wake up”)

I just thought and realized that my mom doesn’t wake me up that way especially when I’m oversleeping already (My mom’s an early bird no matter how late she sleeps, she still wakes up around 3 to 4 am). And then I woke up again, Now it was real, this was real. I touched my face and felt a drop of tear near my eyes; I sat on my bed as rush of emotions and thoughts flood my head. I told my mom, I dreamt of myself sleeping and lying down to the same place and position I was in. She just nodded. I was silent and wasn’t offended by my mom’s nod because she’s the type of person that doesn’t give too much attention to small things that if an adult reacts to, it’ll be 2x scarier.

        I think I had this terrible dream because, yesterday my twin sister and I are trying to write a novel or a story hahaha, and I thought it would be nice if I try horror. Another reason I think is that I’ve been so busy and stressed lately that I don’t kiss and hug my youngest sister anymore and I am always mad at my mom. Tsk. Tsk.

       

        What if I was really supposed to die today, July 9, 2013, if it wasn’t for my mom who woke me up in my dream, I’ll totally be dead right now, or struggling to breath. I went outside after my mom nodded, I look at the trees and inhaled the cold fresh air, and I realized that God is real. He knows that I was mad at my mom before I went back to sleep so he used the image of my mom to wake me up. That no matter how mad I am to my mom, she’ll always be my mom and she’ll always be there to protect me and to guide me.

   
        They say, if you see yourself in your dream sleeping in the exact place you were sleeping on, you are experiencing a “Bangungot” “Nightmare”, and it can end your life. Before, I was so scared every time they talk about it, they even say it’s in our genes that we are prone on having “Bangungots” because a lot of our ancestors died while sleeping, and they never woke up.

    I mentioned the movie “Pee Mak” several times in this blog and I have no intention to ruin its reputation, instead I think this blog and / or dream of mine is a complete compliment that Thailand makes good movies and trailers, horror or not.